Lessons from my 4 year old

I have to be really honest with you. I can’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t struggle with self image. I’ve always battled weight loss and gain and have never been truly happy with my body.

Two instances happened this week where I was really down on myself. The first being that my husband posted a photo of myself and Sawyer on his instagram titled “Family is number one.” Hair up, in my pajamas and looking quite homely. Now while his intentions were good, I was not all happy with this photo being out there for the world to see.
The second was last night. I put a dress on and did my hair and makeup so that Sawyer and I could take some ‘mom and me’ photos in the sunflowers. I really want to capture this time in her life with me IN photos so I put myself out there (with makeup of course.)
You guys, I didn’t like the photos. I found flaws in myself in every single one. I was pretty bummed because I was looking forward to having these memories and maybe even getting a little crazy, and printing them.

Here’s the kicker. Sawyer walked in my office while I was looking through these and said “Mommy, can you wear that dress again tomorrow and do your her like that too? It was so beautiful. You’re the best mommy in the world.”

Ya’ll, I LOST IT! Ugly tears.

Here I am, being so hard on myself that I had forgotten why I was even doing it in the first place. For her. Because no matter how I look or feel about myself, she sees me as her beautiful mom. She will not look back on these photos in 10 or 20 years and think that my hair needed to be colored, or I could have lost another 10 lbs, or that the way I looked down at her gave me a double chin. Haha okay, that last one is definitely just me. But seriously, it reminded me that if I keep waiting until I get that body that I’ve always dreamed about, that I’ll never have photos of us to look back on. In her eyes, I am perfect just the way I am.
We don’t get this time back, so don’t take it for granted. Get in those photos! Be IN those memories. Be it a phone or camera, ask someone to take a photo of you and your family and capture this season of life.

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